KT’s Mega Cool Guide to Surfing the Dark Web*

*Without Getting Arrested

2/7/25

Currently Listening to: Streetwise-Pretty Sick

First, I'm gonna preface this by saying pretty much everything you've been told about the dark web is not true. Red Rooms and hitmen-for-hire have been completely debunked as scams. Mystery boxes, hackers, and online gun sales are all extremely difficult to find, if even real at all. The dark web is simply a collection of decentralized websites designed to be anonymous and less censored than the surface web. Major news outlets like The New York Times, CNN, and ProPublica all have dark web domains to help people with restricted internet access read their content. News outlets also use the dark web to allow whistleblowers and tipsters to submit information completely anonymously through tools like SecureDrop

Of course, less censorship means it's harder to police, so the dark web has inevitably become a place where some bad people get up to some funky stuff. This usually takes the form of gore sites, sicko porn, or Bitcoin scams. But hey, that happens on the surface web too. Unless you are actively looking for illegal stuff, it's unlikely you'll stumble upon it (so just don’t (???) and you'll be fine).

So why should YOU, dear reader, care about surfing the dark web??

If you're the average Joe, there isn't much difference between using the dark web and the surface web, aside from the minor inconvenience of it being harder to navigate. However, if you’re a whistleblower, political dissident, or living in a country with restricted internet freedom, the dark web is crucial for securing your privacy, protecting human rights, and maintaining access to uncensored information. Governments worldwide, often in cahoots with big media, are steadily eroding internet privacy under the guise of combating copyright infringement. So if you think your country has "internet freedom," you might want to think again (cough cough maybe if you live in a country where an unelected billionaire has access to your social security number and personal data, it wouldn’t hurt to learn how to use the dark web.)

What is TOR??

TOR stands for The Onion Router. Instead of .com or .org, dark web sites use the .onion TLD. TOR is an anonymizing tool that circumvents censorship and helps evade direct monitoring by governments.

So, ♪ IF YOU WANNA SURF THE DARK WEB, YOU GOTTA GET A TOR BROWSERRR ♪ (to the tune of Wannabe by the Spice Girls)

OK, how do I actually surf it??

Step 1: Download the TOR Browser

Get your TOR browser from this site

Step 2: Find a Guide

Addresses on the dark web are intentionally difficult to find. For example, CNN's dark web domain is "qmifwf762qftydprw2adbg7hs2mkunac5xrz3cb5busaflji3rja5lid.onion". To navigate, you'll need a guide! Some reliable ones include:

!! DO NOT USE THEHIDDENWIKI.ORG !! It is a well-known scam designed to bait unsuspecting TOR users.

Safety Tips

Unless you're an ultra-important individual with powerful enemies, these are optional but could make you feel safer:

JavaScript can create security vulnerabilities or tracking opportunities. I personally don’t bother because I truly don't care. Track me. idgaf.

I use Free VeePN—don’t get tricked into paying for one when the free version works just fine.

If it sounds too good to be true, it's probably a scam.

Identity theft is a massive issue on the dark web. Protect yourself by using a pseudonym.

And there you have it!!

Your complete guide to becoming a master dark web surfer. So grab your TOR browser, fire up your VPN, and explore responsibly. And remember, kids: “If you're in a dark web chatroom and someone uses your full government name, log off, disconnect your computer, and go touch some grass.”